Yep, another one – tomorrow. Of course, the alternative is much worse! And gosh, I’ve already gotten a ton of birthday wishes – how cool is that? But birthdays, to me, are kind of like New Year’s Eve: it’s a time for change, for renewal, for setting goals and getting my act together.
Change, of course, we’ve heard a lot about the last few months or so. Yawn. But you know, if everyone did a couple small things to change themselves, as individuals, the world would indeed be a much better place. And no, I can’t say what those things should or could be; it’s rather personal for everyone.
Renewal? To me that means a new start, all those things that I’ve been procrastinating over probably need to be taken care of. Oh, I’m sure I’d bore you with the details, but mundane things like taking the truck in for an oil change or stopping smoking. And, too, things like having a better attitude, even creating a “new me” – as in improving my outlook and making myself a priority.
Yeah, I can hear the laughter from dear old Mom already. Whatever. That’s another thing that I’m still sorting out – and I’m sure it won’t ever go away, but I’ve made a lot of progress. Just a few more details to think about and absorb and I’m feeling much, much stronger already.
My goals are and always have been pretty fluid. I don’t spend a lot of time regretting things that I’ve wanted to do or accomplish when it seems like they aren’t ever going to happen. I usually find a new goal, and work towards that.
I don’t think it’s flighty, I think it’s realistic. And besides, I could always rediscover my inspiration and drive, even if, at some point, I think things just won’t fall into place.
When I was a child, I wanted to be a writer. Now, while I haven’t yet been published on paper, I have made huge strides in online publishing. I enjoy it, I’m good at it, and it keeps me occupied. I even earn a little money doing it. The rest will fall into place, surely. Someday. I hope.
The point is that I haven’t been writing for the last 40 years, non-stop. I had the dream, I worked at it, and then I had children. Kids do sometimes put the best plans on hold – but that certainly doesn’t mean the dream is over. So I took a break. Oh, for like twenty years or so. No big deal.
As a teenager, I wanted to own a horse farm. Now this one IS a big deal, and requires quite a lot of capital, and I’ve pretty much resigned myself to it falling into the category of “not happening”. But it could. Someday. Maybe.
My next goal was wife and mother. Sheesh, be careful what you wish for! So the first marriage didn’t work out – it wasn’t the marriage I mourned, but the dream. The second one is nearly perfect – and by that I mean, naturally, that our marriage is very, very good. Sure, we have ups and downs. Not a problem. We get through it, and I don’t see that changing at all. It’s a process, not an end-product.
Yeah, we seem to have a lot of kids, his, mine, and ours. And our granddaughter. And some in-laws here and there. That’s okay, that’s cool – even thought the granddaughter makes me feel a lot older than I am! I can handle that too. One thing about reaching one’s, um, mid-forties, is that you can handle a whole lot more than you ever thought possible. Of course, some days that feels like a big fat lie….
Oh, and one more – a couple years ago I thought long and hard about law school. I was on track, on my way, just needed a few minor things to fall into place. Well, they didn’t. Life got in the way. Is that dream over? I don’t know. Maybe not. Probably not. I have a real go-with-the-flow attitude about that. And that’s okay too. Less stress, I’m sure.
Getting my act together.
That used to be huge for me, a real necessity. I always felt like I was floundering, and if just “this one thing” would happen, I could just take hold and get that act together.
And you know what? It doesn’t matter. MOST of the time, I do have it together. And when I don’t, I simply have to wait a bit and it comes back around. Hard to explain, maybe, but that’s the truth, the secret if you will:
Relax, wait, and look at the big picture. It all starts to make sense. Don’t let the little things trip you up, because they probably aren’t nearly as important as you think.
So, my words of wisdom for the day – ha! Go forth, and conquer!