The Visit that Wasn’t


Got a call at 4:00, when my son was supposed to be visiting with us – his caseworker didn’t know where he was, and he wasn’t answering his phone. Thankfully, he was only at work, I think, but the visit was canceled; I found out thirty minutes later.

Of course, she didn’t know “when” he could visit again; she couldn’t find the meeting she’d booked with me in two weeks on her calendar either. Then she changed that to a “family team” meeting – you know, the kind where all the hearts-and-flowers-and-rainbow people sit around and tell you that you’re a lousy parent, but your kid is just aces? Yeah, that one. Can’t wait.

Even, or maybe especially, in a divorce situation, regular visitation is ordered – and not at the whim of one parent or another. Oh, sure, any parent can engage in PAS and refuse visitation but apparently, when the state is the party with custody, anything goes. No complaints allowed.

Or maybe those just haven’t yet reached the right ears.

Oh, yeah – she and I are supposed to “visit” or “meet” or whatever next week. No clue what that’s about – she’ll probably ask, again, if she can do anything for me. Right. I think she’s doing plenty only, of course, it really has nothing to do with me.

You might be wondering why a kid’s work schedule is more important than visiting his family? Me too. It’s because his caseworker doesn’t want him to lose his job, the one he’s going to have to quit next week anyway because they’ve found him a lovely foster home fifteen miles away. Okey dokey then.

So I spent all day, waiting to see my son. His little brother was waiting too, and his dad. Waiting is highly overrated.

I must add, however, that the caseworker told me she “scolded” my son. Nice, huh? I wonder what that means. Of course, I would have preferred that she tell him, sorry, no dice, I’ll be there to pick you up in fifteen minutes.

And, wonder of wonders, my son called me. Now, we do text a bit almost every day and he’ll chat with me on Facebook nearly every morning that he’s at work (cushy job, huh?). But this afternoon he called. And apologized for not coming. And asked us to come see him tonight at work.

Unfortunately, we can’t. It’s not allowed.

And then he said “love you.”

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