Do or Die

Another week, another blog post.  Really having a hard time keeping up on this, and other things.  Of course, a pay scale would help that but alas, no offers yet.

My son paid us a visit today.  Seriously, normal kids don’t do stuff like this.  For those you have normal kids, allow me to try to explain the differences:

A normal kid is given rules to follow; and he mostly does follow those rules.  Sometimes he slips, he says “sorry” and mostly means it.  For example, you tell your kid his curfew is 11:00; he usually makes it, sometimes is a few minutes late, but once or even twice he doesn’t get home until 12.  The first time, you probably warn him; the second time, there’s a consequence.  There is no third time, or maybe there is – in a month or so.  You see, he didn’t like the consequence and didn’t want to get in trouble again.

With me so far?

My kid would slip more often than not.  He wouldn’t likely apologize, but shift blame onto someone else.  Like a normal kid, he’d probably have a reason – or an excuse.  But if the first excuse wasn’t good enough, or plausible enough, he’d come up with six more.  All for the same incident.  And, he’d do it all over again the following week, or even the very next time he’s allowed to go out.  And keep doing it.

A normal kid will skip class once in a while.  A normal kid will not do/turn in homework on occasion.  A normal kid might even finish high school early, by a semester or a year, or maybe, just maybe even drop out.  Not in my world, but maybe in yours.  And there always reasons – or sometimes excuses.

My kid threw away a top-notch education because he thought – what?  That he could order what are considered weapons, use them on other kids, and this was okay?  Really?  My kid made a choice to at least get his GED, but then decided to blow off college completely.  Well, not completely, because he did enroll and go to a few classes, did a few assignments;  then, nothing.  Nada.  Yet he kept telling everyone he was doing “great”.  “Everyone” meaning, literally, everyone: family, friends, court officers, and so forth.

A normal kid might think about leaving home, or fantasize about what he’ll do when he’s 18, or even wonder if he could really make it on his own right this very minute.  He might even think he’s perfectly capable, but something stops him. 

My kid was finally told he had to follow the rules, or he could choose to leave; I would no longer struggle to enforce them or to check up on him.  My kid took off with no clothes or anything, blew all his money, and is currently couch-surfing…somewhere.  He didn’t think about where to live, or how to pay for things, or his job.  He didn’t think about all that he gave up – the car he’d been making payments on, the insurance money he’d paid, free Internet, a practically new queen-size bed, his own room, nothing.  Just took off.  Again.

A normal kid will tell you that he hates you or that you’re ruining his life.  He will probably wish he hadn’t said it, after he cools down a bit, and he might even apologize.

My kid will tell you that he hopes you will die.  Not wishes it – hopes that it will happen.  Preferably before his court date next week.  And instead of an apology, I’m more likely to get a text, email, or blog comment with more ranting.

These are just a few differences.  And the only ones I can recall, at this moment, by using any broad definition of “normal”.  That seems to have escaped me for the time being.


2 comments on “Do or Die

  1. Deborah Rice says:

    Robin I am so sorry .
    I truly wish I had the answer or even a suggestion.


  2. Thanks, Deb – I wish you did too!


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