Having yard guys is not all it’s cracked up to be, especially when they show up while you’re trying to take a nap.  Yeah, I know, it makes me sound like the laziest person on the planet.

I’ve lived in suburbia most of my life, and always where it’s a point of pride to have a nice-looking yard.  Having yard guys would be considered cheating and, besides, only rich people do that anyway.  For almost three years now we’ve been in this rental house and the owner, a doctor down the street, still has the yard guys come four times a year.

Well, supposedly.  Haven’t seen them for six months, at least, and the last few times they did a pretty crappy job.  They’re supposed to clean the gutters, clean up the gunk that falls out, pick up branches, add mulch, fertilize, and spread weed-killer.  They used to mow and trim, too.

Now, none of this stuff is hard and we have no problem doing it ourselves.  We’re good at it too, and much quicker.  And, which is my entire point, we have better timing and we’re a lot more consistent.

Allow me to explain:

When holding the trigger of whichever motorized lawn implement you are using, it is NOT required to start and stop repeatedly; likewise, revving said motor does nothing for gas consumption, timeliness, or the peace of mind of any of the surrounding population.  Especially the human one who has been sick for five days and was snoozing peacefully immediately prior to your arrival.

Besides, since we hadn’t seen them for six months or so, just last week I raked and picked up branches and dug up mulch and sprayed weedkiller.  Glad to know it was really kind of a waste of time.

Another anomaly is that this house is far, far from soundproof and/or sealed.  I swear, it sounded like they were INSIDE the house, and only at the bedroom end too – not sure they did anything at the other end of the house!  And they left the gate open.  Remember the $800 dog incident from a year ago?  Yeah.

So just remember a few things: while it’s nice to be able to say “the yard guys were here”, and it sometimes is nice to have someone else do your work, it’s still kind of cheating.  Most importantly, when I’m tired, I’m cranky.  Guess that’s what it really comes down to!