So today I got a packet in the mail, addressed to me, and on the envelope it said “You have been invited to attend….”  I opened it, suspecting right off the bat that it was some kind of scam, and this is what I read in the accompanying letter:

“Dear Ms. Tidwell,

It is our great pleasure to invite your child….”

Wait, my CHILD?  But it said I was invited – and it was addressed to me.  Oh – and which “child” were they talking about anyway?  So I kept reading.

“…college-bound students….”  Hmm.  Likely the seventeen-year-old, since he’s closest in age to “college-bound”.  Of course, he dropped out of college a year or so ago.

“Your child will earn up to 2 College Credits (sic)….”  And “…if you enroll on or prior to November 20, 2010, your child will receive a FREE COLLEGE CREDIT!”  Really?  I thought those had to be earned?  Hey, maybe if *I* go, I can get a few credits towards that blanket-blank algebra class!  Cool!

I still don’t know which child this is about, so I go back to the top and start reading again.

Okay, it sure can’t be the seventeen-year-old.  The letter says: “Their (sic) selection is in recognition of their academic achievement, involvement in extracurricular activities and unlimited potential.”

Um, does “academic achievement” mean a GPA probably below 2.5, tops, and expulsion?  Does “involvement in extracurricular activities” include vandalism and violence?  Maybe “unlimited potential” means that he’ll graduate from a juvenile record to an adult one?  ‘Tis perplexing.

This just gets better:

The cost ranges from $1600 to $3000.  Wow.  What an opportunity!  I can buy my kid some college for around $1000 per credit hour!  Woohoo!

But back to the envelope itself:

“Your certificate of recognition is enclosed.”  Oh, goody!  NOW I’ll know which child we’re talking about!

I look through the mess on my desk – yep, here it is!

“Child of Robin Tidwell”

Oh.  Bummer.  Guess that one won’t go in anyone’s scrapbook!