Today’s lesson, boys and girls, is about how to be a douche-bag to the students who pay your salary.
I have taken out loans to pay my school, which pays the salary of a certain dean – we’ll call him Mr. Dean, for purposes of name-changing; can’t use an old standby because, well, that’s his actual name. If you’re wondering what school this is, you can look it up on my profile if you’re so inclined. I was having a pretty great experience here until now, and it’s not even because he told me “no”.

Over a month ago, I applied for a waiver to skip college algebra. Having been told it was unlikely, and in fact had never happened in anyone’s memory, was no deterrent. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, right? So I filled out all the forms and gave a lot thought to the “comments” section, signed it all and emailed it to my advisor.

I waited a few days, and emailed again and asked if he’d received it and he said yes. In fact, this was on February 16, one day after I’d sent it, and he told me that he’d reviewed it with his director and that it would be sent to the evaluations department. He did warn me that it could take 2-10 weeks; odd timeframe, but okay, whatever.

Two days ago, almost a month since I sent the request, I called the evaluations department. The gal who answered the phone said that they normally only have it for a day or two, then it’s sent – in my case – to Mr. Dean. I mentioned that the session starts Monday, in just a few days, and that if it wasn’t approved I would have to hurry to drop a class, sign up for math, and order books. Already, I was going to get a late start.

So this afternoon, still having heard nothing, I emailed Mr. Dean. His reply:

“I don’t believe I received your appeal. I can act on it now, however. The MATH 150 requirement is not waived. If you have a documented disability we will accommodate you in MATH 150 to the extent required by law.”

Well then.

Blink.

What?

Now, I know all you math people will say, “But of course you NEED math!” We’re just going to have to disagree – I don’t NEED college algebra in fact, I’ve gotten along quite well without it for 47 years and, furthermore, I can’t do it. Besides which, I’ve taken plenty of classes which involve critical thinking – another pro-math position – and I have a 3.8 GPA. Still doesn’t mean I can either do, or need, more math.

Anyway, the point is that the college requires a three-page form to be filled out, I put a bit of work into that, and then they tell me there’s up to a two month wait for a decision. The decision that Mr. Dean simply snapped out, without even seeing the form, or reading my reasons or anything else.

Hence, the opening reference to douche-bag. I could also say that he addressed me by my first name, not as a professional adult, and is therefore likely under the impression that I’m a flighty 18-year-old freshman. But maybe not. And that might be petty for me to mention. Might be.