Fan Friday—Identity

Let’s talk about identity, only because I want to and am feeling contrary today. Yes, I know I it’s Saturday. Again, contrary.

A person can “identify” however he or she chooses, but that doesn’t change facts. Just because you “feel” something, doesn’t make it true. Feelings are subjective. Refer to the first paragraph if you must.

I may not feel contrary tomorrow, or later today, or in five minutes. Some would say I must “always” feel contrary. In the spirit of contrariness, allow me to disagree with that.

Over the course of my life, I’ve “felt” many things, at many times, in many ways. None of those things change who I am, by virtue of DNA or ancestry or chromosomes or any other scientific measure. This is a fact.

Regarding Caitlyn and Rachel, both in the news right now, they can change whatever they want, they can claim whatever identities they want, either or both are fine by me—but until science can strip away existing DNA and replace it by a person’s choice, they are both still whatever or whoever or however they were born.

This is a fact.

I understand feeling “different,” like you’re in the wrong place or time, or even, I suppose, we can extrapolate that to one feeling he or she is “in the wrong body.” But “feeling” doesn’t make it a fact.

For decades, I’ve felt anxious, dealt with what many would call imaginary fears. Hell, sometimes *I* have called them imaginary. But other times, those fear were damn real. To me. Not to anyone else. Those fears were not facts.

Here’s an example: if you “feel” like you’re suddenly going to stop breathing, and wonder what will happen if you do, if you get yourself all worked up over this, you have fear; real fear. But that fear doesn’t turn off your breathing; that fear is a feeling.

Don’t you act different ways around different people? Say, drinking buddies or church folks? Or children and adults? No? Maybe it’s just me.

Let’s say you’re at a kid’s birthday party—you might act a little silly. You might feel nostalgic. Neither of those things makes you a kid again. Later, you might remember those feelings—you might remember them often—but you STILL are not changed into a kid. Adults who act like children all the time, we’ve seen them in the news too, are NOT children.

I used to tell my kids, “I understand why you’re feeling ____, and you can feel that all you want, but that doesn’t mean you can act on it.” And yes, that was in the context of temper tantrums or hitting a sibling or whatever the issue was at that point.

Let’s say someone cuts you off in traffic; you’re angry. Your feeling of anger doesn’t mean you’re allowed to stalk the other driver and ram his bumper. But you’ll probably at least mutter, “Jerk!”

Maybe he is a jerk. Maybe he’s rushing to someone’s deathbed.

There’s simply a big difference between feeling something and it being labeled as fact.





One comment on “Fan Friday—Identity

  1. Feeling contrary can be motivation to great accomplishment. It’s like thinking “outside of the box” or ‘out in the universe’ somewhere. “Feelings” and imagination have a lot in common, perhaps at times, are one and the same. “:) Turning on the light bulb in the vacuum of inner space regardless. “:D Contrary. A good state of mind.


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