I read an article about feminism and how women of yesteryear were much happier than they are today. I thought the article was funny as heck, but NOT because I fit the definition of a feminist.
I believe that women can do anything men can do.
I do not, however, believe that women can do anything men can and do it better.
It’s a fact that men are physically stronger than women. Often, I think they have, in general, more physical stamina too. Not saying that’s a fact, just a guess on my part—my husband, for example, could run circles around me like the freakin’ Energizer bunny. However, when he crashes, he’s done. Women, I think, even when they’re “done” tend to keep “doing,” at least mentally or emotionally.
Men just turn on the TV.
Take our recent fencing project, for example. Sure, I could have done that by myself, but because of the strength issue, it would have taken me, oh, ten times as long. Probably. Or, just yesterday, hanging heat lamps in the greenhouse—of course I could do that, but he wanted them on the ridgeline and I can’t reach up there without a ladder. I could have laid all the tile in the house, too, but again, I’d be bringing in like one box of tile a day and crying for months while I wore myself out doing it.
You remember the tile posts, right? Ugh.
Over the weekend, he mentioned the upcoming holiday and said, “Oh, we need to pull out the old ATV this week and make sure it runs before the kids come down.” And I responded with, “I’m pulling the Girl Card—put that on your own list.”
We had quite a discussion then. I told him if he wanted me to do the Guy Stuff, no problem, and he could cook and clean. He said no thanks, he’d rather be able to eat Thanksgiving dinner all at one time. And have it be edible.
This isn’t the first Girl Card I’ve used. When we pulled out the old wood furnace, all 500 pounds of it, I helped get it on the dolly and out the door. I was just about ready to get on the tractor so he could load it up to take to the barn and the neighbor showed up.
That was it, I was done. Not because I can’t operate the tractor, but because that darn thing was HEAVY and would still need to be unloaded after it got TO the barn.
The Girl Card can be useful say, when going to Lowe’s. I like the store just fine, and I can look around there for half an hour, maybe. What I canNOT do is stare at a wall of screws or nails for ten minutes, trying to find “the right one.” They mostly all look alike to me. BORING. Pick one, move on.
To be fair, my husband also does this in the grocery store, trying to find the exact product and/or the best “deal.” I walk and grab at the same time.
And it’s not like I leave all the icky or hard stuff for him. I was right there putting fence posts in the ground and screwing in the boards. I haul wood and clear brush and trim trees—what I can reach. Men will go up in the tractor bucket to reach a branch, I so totally will not. Girl Card.
Yes, we may well have a throwback marriage, but that works for us. And people who say women were miserable in the 50s never watched June Cleaver. Okay, okay, I kid. Think of it, though:
A couple gets married. The mister goes to work, 9-5, Monday through Friday, from age 25 to 65. Forty years. The missus cleans and cooks and takes care of the children, but she does this for only twenty years.
Who got the better deal, huh?
And we women, those in the 50s and those who do what we do now, didn’t wait on our husbands because we HAD to, we did it because we WANTED to, but because we love him and want to make his life easier, just as he provides for us for the same reasons.
Kinda like the Church. Exactly like the Church. Christians don’t obey God because they HAVE to, but because they love Him and WANT to.
I’m fully aware that some women want to have careers. Heck, I’ve dabbled in all kinds of business-y stuff over the years. I’m very efficient and organized and had some free time. And I’m aware that some men expect equality in the home and two salaries coming in and some, yes, MUST have both paychecks. If that’s all you’re focusing on here, you’re missing the point.
And honestly, I think a lot of women WOULD be happier doing things like the “old days.” Come on, you can do all that Pinterest stuff and be with your kids and volunteer in the PTA or whatever. You don’t have to climb the corporate ladder and prove yourself to anyone or any ideals.
If you want to be a feminist and holler for “Girl Power” and all that, feel free. I don’t feel like I’m powerless and I don’t feel like I’m less than anyone else, let alone my husband. Yes, I think women should have equal salaries for equal work/pay/experience/competence, etc. No, I don’t think women can BETTER do everything men can do—see the opening fact above. Yes, I think women should vote. Good grief. I know that’s going to come up. Yes, I think women are smart.
Be yourself. Do you. Doesn’t matter what anyone says.
Hear! Hear! I agree. There are times when I play the Girl Card, Widow Card and the Age Card. I’d love to have things the “old way.” I remember that way when my children were young. I didn’t realize just how good I had it. Like you, I’ve done the businessy stuff and still work to support myself and take care of things. I call maintenance for everything else. If the time comes when a lovely gentleman wants to make me his wife and spoil me, I’m going to let him – in spades.
Thank heavens I can’t play your second one, and well, can’t really do the age card either… 😉 And my maintenance guy is usually in front of the TV if he’s not at the barn.
I hope you can’t play the WC for decades yet, and the age card is gradual. One day you are 50 and fine, the next day you’ve turned the corner on your 60’s and wonder WTH happened? 🙂
Amen! I’ve been in that same boat. There are times when I pull the card and times when I keep it tucked in my pocket. Not only am I a SAHM, but I homeschool both girls. Plus, I have my novels, and I’m still working from home for a company in another state as their financial controller. While my husband has mentioned from time to time he’d like to trade places, once he has them for a whole day by himself while I’m writing or shopping, he recants that claim. Like as soon as I walk through the door. Lol.
Ha – we were talking about the kid thing this morning. A friend is getting custody of her grandson, and I was like, nope, not me! I’ve done my time, lol!
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WooHoo! Way to go! I think the whole country has been feeling freer to say what they really think, lately, for some reason. Great post that truly was a fun read!
Something you may not know, that adds to your point, is that the muscles men have, biologically, are different from the muscles women have.
Men have muscles that can lift more weight. Briefly.
Women have muscles that can hold a baby. All. Night. Long.
This is scientific fact.
It also probably is true that in both scenarios, if you switched roles, their arms would break off. 😉
Thanks! I believe it, I know about the holding babies thing – and a few others – and my husband is like, “How DO you do that??”
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