dystopia « Robin Writes

I read an article about feminism and how women of yesteryear were much happier than they are today. I thought the article was funny as heck, but NOT because I fit the definition of a feminist.

I believe that women can do anything men can do.

I do not, however, believe that women can do anything men can and do it better.

It’s a fact that men are physically stronger than women. Often, I think they have, in general, more physical stamina too. Not saying that’s a fact, just a guess on my part—my husband, for example, could run circles around me like the freakin’ Energizer bunny. However, when he crashes, he’s done. Women, I think, even when they’re “done” tend to keep “doing,” at least mentally or emotionally.

Men just turn on the TV.

Take our recent fencing project, for example. Sure, I could have done that by myself, but because of the strength issue, it would have taken me, oh, ten times as long. Probably. Or, just yesterday, hanging heat lamps in the greenhouse—of course I could do that, but he wanted them on the ridgeline and I can’t reach up there without a ladder. I could have laid all the tile in the house, too, but again, I’d be bringing in like one box of tile a day and crying for months while I wore myself out doing it.

You remember the tile posts, right? Ugh.

Over the weekend, he mentioned the upcoming holiday and said, “Oh, we need to pull out the old ATV this week and make sure it runs before the kids come down.” And I responded with, “I’m pulling the Girl Card—put that on your own list.”

We had quite a discussion then. I told him if he wanted me to do the Guy Stuff, no problem, and he could cook and clean. He said no thanks, he’d rather be able to eat Thanksgiving dinner all at one time. And have it be edible.

This isn’t the first Girl Card I’ve used. When we pulled out the old wood furnace, all 500 pounds of it, I helped get it on the dolly and out the door. I was just about ready to get on the tractor so he could load it up to take to the barn and the neighbor showed up.

That was it, I was done. Not because I can’t operate the tractor, but because that darn thing was HEAVY and would still need to be unloaded after it got TO the barn.

The Girl Card can be useful say, when going to Lowe’s. I like the store just fine, and I can look around there for half an hour, maybe. What I canNOT do is stare at a wall of screws or nails for ten minutes, trying to find “the right one.” They mostly all look alike to me. BORING. Pick one, move on.

To be fair, my husband also does this in the grocery store, trying to find the exact product and/or the best “deal.” I walk and grab at the same time.

And it’s not like I leave all the icky or hard stuff for him. I was right there putting fence posts in the ground and screwing in the boards. I haul wood and clear brush and trim trees—what I can reach. Men will go up in the tractor bucket to reach a branch, I so totally will not. Girl Card.

Yes, we may well have a throwback marriage, but that works for us. And people who say women were miserable in the 50s never watched June Cleaver. Okay, okay, I kid. Think of it, though:

A couple gets married. The mister goes to work, 9-5, Monday through Friday, from age 25 to 65. Forty years. The missus cleans and cooks and takes care of the children, but she does this for only twenty years.

Who got the better deal, huh?

And we women, those in the 50s and those who do what we do now, didn’t wait on our husbands because we HAD to, we did it because we WANTED to, but because we love him and want to make his life easier, just as he provides for us for the same reasons.

Kinda like the Church. Exactly like the Church. Christians don’t obey God because they HAVE to, but because they love Him and WANT to.

I’m fully aware that some women want to have careers. Heck, I’ve dabbled in all kinds of business-y stuff over the years. I’m very efficient and organized and had some free time. And I’m aware that some men expect equality in the home and two salaries coming in and some, yes, MUST have both paychecks. If that’s all you’re focusing on here, you’re missing the point.

And honestly, I think a lot of women WOULD be happier doing things like the “old days.” Come on, you can do all that Pinterest stuff and be with your kids and volunteer in the PTA or whatever. You don’t have to climb the corporate ladder and prove yourself to anyone or any ideals.

If you want to be a feminist and holler for “Girl Power” and all that, feel free. I don’t feel like I’m powerless and I don’t feel like I’m less than anyone else, let alone my husband. Yes, I think women should have equal salaries for equal work/pay/experience/competence, etc. No, I don’t think women can BETTER do everything men can do—see the opening fact above. Yes, I think women should vote. Good grief. I know that’s going to come up. Yes, I think women are smart.

Be yourself. Do you. Doesn’t matter what anyone says.

Actually, I could entitle this “things I’ve learned since the weather turned cold.”

It takes, to date, about an hour or so to get the fire in the furnace burning.
It takes about another hour or so for the temp to reach 120, which is when the blower kicks on.
With our new, warmer bedding set, we really don’t need to put another log on before we go to bed.
When the sun shines in the front windows (south-facing), the temp in the office and bedroom goes up to around 82. No heat sources needed as long as the outside temp is above 40.
In a small house, it’s really hard to find a place to hang up winter coats.

The first two only matter in the evening, say, between 6:00 and 9:00, at least so far. We’ve had some nights down in the 30s lately, and once I get chilled outside (like with a north wind), I stay pretty cold the rest of the day/evening.

Over the weekend, I unpacked, from barn storage, all the winter stuff: long underwear, really heavy coats, sweaters, and so forth. Yes, I’d already packed and put away the summer clothes. A few things might make it to the dropbox in town, if they’re still in fair condition, but as long as they fit, they’ll stay.

Somewhere.

I might be able to find space for a few hooks on the walls, but wall space is at a premium here. In desperation, I took an older over-the-door rack and stuck it on the kitchen door, going outside. Hard to see out, but that’s okay. Now, if I could only find one to go over the front door too . . .

Changing habits is hard.

Well, that’s kind of a no-brainer, right?

We’re currently having a big discussion here about the television. I’m not much of a TV watcher; I do like movies, and there are some series/shows I like, but if I miss them it’s no big deal. Sometimes a program will catch my interest for a few minutes.

My husband, on the other hand, is, yes, a TV junkie. He used to turn it on in the morning, which drove me nuts—too much noise way too early in the day—but he has since stopped that. He usually watches while he eats lunch, and for an hour or so afterward, and turns it on from 5:00 until around 10:00 or 11:00.

Now, before we moved, we talked about this. We had no TV at all down here for about eight months after we bought the place, and so in the evenings we’d sit outside and talk or play cards at the kitchen table.

Then he came down here by himself for a week.

So he brought our smaller TV along and bought a DVD player and a ton of old movie collections.

After a while, that got old, and a few months later we moved. Now, living and working here, I need Internet service, but we decided to go just with a TV antenna—which works great, and the old shows we mostly got on non-network channels provided a lot of laughs.

Roku, however, doesn’t work very well, and by the end of the month, when our LIMITED INTERNET is running out, it doesn’t work at all.

Seriously, who ever heard of LIMITED??

Today, DirecTV is coming out. I hate them. They’re hard to deal with. I do NOT want another dish or antenna or whatever junking up the place.

But at least he’ll have, what, 200+ channels to fall asleep to? 😉

Oh, yeah, I was talking about habits, right? Well, the TV is certainly one of them, but where I was originally going with this was my own daily routine. I used to spend a couple hours online, working and reading the news and emails, and then get dressed and moving and start the ACTUAL working, like editing and so forth, until lunchtime.

Now, particularly in winter—not to mention LIMITED INTERNET—the daylight hours are much shorter, so I have to get my butt in gear. Some days it’s easier than others, but I’m slowly moving toward an hour first thing in the morning, and then a few hours later in the day after all the outside chores are done.

Since, yes, I have a lot of habits, I’m having to readjust them all constantly—and it’s rather tiring!

I’m looking forward to no big outdoor projects this winter and doing more baking, some leatherworking, and maybe even figuring out how to get that second knitting stitch on the damn needles without dropping the first one.

When it comes to crafty stuff, I am a sloooow learner.